Candy (chinese)
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An international literary phenomenon-now available for the first time in English translation-Candy is a hip, harrowing tale of risk and desire, the story of a young Chinese woman forging a life for herself in a world seemingly devoid of guidelines. Hong, who narrates the novel, and whose life in many ways parallels the author''s own, drops out of high school and runs away at age 17 to the frontier city of Shenzen. As Hong navigates the temptations of the city, she quickly falls in love with a young musician and together they dive into a cruel netherworld of alcohol, drugs, and excess, a life that fails to satisfy Hong''s craving for an authentic self, and for a love that will define her. This startling and subversive novel is a blast of sex, drugs, and rock ''n'' roll that opens up to us a modern China we''ve never seen before. – Banned in China -with Mian Mian labeled the ''poster child for spiritual pollution''-CANDY still managed to sell 60,000 copies, as well as countless additional copies in pirated editions. – CANDY has been published in eight countries to date and has become a bestseller in France.
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Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll: ingredients for novels about modern China? Yes, SHANGHAI BABY by Wei Hui (Pocket Books, 2001) showed international readers modern Chinese youth were not immune to the running dogs of Western decadence: Globalization might even include mixing with dissolute foreigners. Following SHANGHAI BABY to English by a few years, Mian Mian now suggests with CANDY the decadence is more likely homegrown, possibly an inevitable side-effect of China's ascension to manufacturing colossus for the world. After this first novel by Shanghainese Mian was banned in China -an "honor" Wei Hui also earned – she was labelled a "poster child for spiritual pollution."
The buzz made CANDY an underground bestseller.
Whether Mian Mian harvested autobiographical details for her protagonist Hong's drug-plagued odyssey is open to question. She prefaces the novel with a note: "This book exists because one morning as the sun was coming up I told myself that I had to swallow up all of the fear and garbage around me, and once it was inside me I had to transform it all into candy. Because I know you all will be able to love me for it."
In a larger context, Hong's story, the characters in her life, often resonate with American stories we've heard of the Old West and Gold Rush days (whether in California or Alaska). She leaves Shanghai to seek her future in the new frontier of the Special Economic Zones the Chinese government created along the south coast in the 1980s, near Guangzhou. Not only did the SEZs permit a laissez faire approach to business-much of the Confucian social rules that apply elsewhere are ignored. In the SEZ thick with fortune seekers and finders, prostitution flourishes, as does alcohol and drug addiction.
Hong, only 17, has dropped out of a competitive high school, somewhat dispirited by the suicide of a classmate (an echo of Murakami's NORWEGIAN WOOD), when she leaves for the south. There she meets a young musician Saining and they become lovers, so often hopeless for each other and so often hopeless for their addictions. They survive, slacker-style, largely by the generosity of Saining's mom, who lives in Japan.
Hong's love for Saining has compelling moments of violence, promiscuity, and druggy indifference. But the greatest achievement of Hong's story, perhaps, is the honest testimony to the erasure of desire, the great sucking away of soul only addiction can wreak on a love that nonetheless won't go away. From a null point, from a Murakami-esque death in life, Hong goes on to find redemption can be hers.This stark portrait is not without lighter moments. For example, Hong's friend Bug is convinced he has AIDS. The horror of that discovery is brought alive. Page after page: consultation with friends, plans to leave the country, examination by a Beijing AIDS specialist. Finally, the revelation too many OTC drugs to get high had caused the troubling symptoms.
Like Murakami's post-consumerist young generation in Japan, Mian Mian suggests the same search for individual authenticity is underway in China. As China 's economic engine gains force, so does disillusionment among the young with the old ways. Hong suggests her ambivalence towards China 's rising star: "The moment the plane left the ground, I fucking burst into tears. I swore I would never come back to this town in the South again. This weird, plastic, bullshit Special Economic Zone, with all that pain and sadness, and the face of love, and the whole totally fucked-up world of heroin, and the late 1980s gold rush mentality, and all that pop music from Taiwan and Hong Kong. This place had all of the best and all of the worst. It had become my eternal nightmare." Hong awakes before the CANDY is gone. Mian's compassion for youth of New China elevates and brings irony to a story lesser writers might have passed off as sensation-ridden heroin chic.
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我没有办法接受这张香喷喷的脸会这样对着我。我想我已经失去她了。我把她抱在怀里,她轻得一点分量都没有,她看着天空,猫一样的眼睛一动不动,她不再透过她的黑眼睛向我传达她疯狂的信息,而我也没有能力爱她,我们已不再拥有爱情的感觉,我想我应该接受这个事实了。我们的嘴唇已干得不能再亲吻。我什J的欲望已经熄灭,但那不重要1重要的是我们是亲人、伙伴、从一个地方来的人、活下来的人。所以我不会再离开她,我要一直和她在一起,我就是要和她在一起,我不会再给她麻烦,我会听她的话,只要能够每天看到她,只要她可以再次对我笑。为了那么一点点希望,我要和这个女人一起带着所有的绝望再次坠落。我的生活里绝对不能没有她,如果有一天她嫁人了,我要和她一起嫁过去。
我想着这些计划,我没有说出来,我不敢说,但是明早喝咖啡的时候我会说。
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我认识的男人百分之九十九很无聊,那百分之一中有百分之九十九有女朋友。有很多男人想和我好,但他们都有女朋友。我不能够接受这种情况,我不承认这种机会会让我快活。
我越来越干燥,我的天空阴云密集,就像我越来越暗淡的欲望。渴望着能有那么一天,当我一进到某个现场,有什么可以让我立刻被解放掉。
一个月前我开始每天练习跑步20分钟,努力保持平衡而优美的体态昂首慢跑,三天后我发现身体的晃动令我运动起来。
也许有很多细节在以前被我忽略了,运动带来改变,我想我完全可以不顾赛宁的感受而重新开始性生活。
我和所有可能的男人联系,我选择了一个绝对不爱我 我也绝对不爱他的人。第一个晚上有点心酸,我的甜蜜远 离了我的脚步,花园里有恐怖的绿色玫瑰,而我几乎忘记 了该如何触摸一个男人的五官。我需要被打开,当我打开 自己,日子会好过很多。我的努力让我觉着自己很傻,当时我想生活真对我不起,为什么要把我放在这种位置?
小虫说别这样,你应该找一个你自己真的喜欢的。
小虫,我已经浪费了太多太多的吻。爱人是自己来的,我对这已经没什么想法了。起码这个男人让我很放松,和他做爱时我完全没有任何私心杂念,而且我也挺喜欢他的,他是个可爱的朋友。现在我在练习自己分清楚什么是爱,什么是爱人,什么是朋友,什么是有性关系的朋友,我想我们必须搞清楚这些,避孕套不会背信弃义,这是生存之道。
小虫看了我一回儿说:请你保持对爱的渴望,当你对爱已毫无感觉。
在第三次跟这个男人上床的时候,我第一次经历了“高潮”。
我完全没有办法准确无误地用我的语言来具体描写什么是高潮。我只能说我经历了,所以我知道。我根本不知道它会到来,它瞬间到来的那一刻,完全赤裸,没有任何思维和灵魂的参与。
我悲喜交集。并且开始频繁地和这个男人上床。
在我的第二次高潮之后,我做了噩梦,我在噩梦中醒来,我告诉他我在做噩梦。他冷漠地看了我一回儿,什么也没说,继续睡去。
第二天醒来我对他说我不想再跟你做爱了,因为在我做噩梦的时候你没反应。尽管他一再跟我解释:我在饿肚子和睡觉的时候都是愚蠢的,请你原谅我。但我还是认为做爱应该是最抒情的,性交起码也应该是种沟通。
我想我得自己想办法。小虫说生命就是一个大实验场,我们必须不停地做各种练习,这是一种练习,这不需要回忆,只需要寻找。
月亮就是我的太阳,它射进房间。让我感觉自己是如此低落。当我把自己的身体放低,就能听见血液的声响,这是一种令人鼓舞又压抑的感受。无数次乏味的努力,在我自己的浴缸里,我和我的身体一起在月光下,好像只要我们在一起,就算失去了全世界,我们起码还拥有对方。我的身体冷漠而脆弱,我想如果有一天我可以不靠男
人到达高潮,我一定会大哭一场。
我从不和赛宁讨论这些,尽管他天天睡在我身边。我羞耻,为我们俩羞耻。而他,就像-个不懂事的傻孩子。