Niubi! The Real Chinese You Were Never Taught in School

吃软饭 chī ruǎnfàn (chih rwun fun)

Literally “eat soft rice.” A negative expression for a man (of any age) who depends on his girlfriend or wife for a living. Mainly used in southern China.

花 huā (hwah)

An adjective used to describe a “player.” Literally “flower.”

花花公子 huāhuāgōngzǐ (hwa hwa gong dz-the gong sound has a long o, like “oh”)

A playboy (and also the Chinese name for Playboy magazine). Literally “flower prince.”

钻石王老五 zuànshí wáng lǎo wǔ (dzwun shih wahng low ooh)

Literally “diamond bachelor.” A wealthy, older, eligible man. Used mainly in Hong Kong and Taiwan (where it’s written 鑽石王老五).

单身贵族 dānshēn guì zú (dan shen gway dzoo)

Literally “unmarried nobility.” 单身 Dānshēn (dan shen) means “single” and many people now use this term with “nobility” added to convey the idea that there’s nothing wrong with being single and it’s something to be proud of, like something that noble people enjoy.

歪瓜劣枣 wāi guā lìe zǎo (why gwah lyih dzow)

Literally “crooked melons and split-open dates,” referring to a group of unattractive people. For example, 他们学校的男生都是些歪瓜劣枣 Tā men xué xiào de nán shēng dōu shì xiē wāi guā liè zǎo (tah men shreh shaow duh nahn shung doe shih shih why gwah lyih dzow) means “The boys at that school are all ugly.”

娘娘腔 niángniangqiāng (nyahng nyahng chyahng)

Sissy, pansy, an effeminate man with a girly voice. Can imply that the person is gay, though can also be used teasingly with a close friend. Literally “girly tone.”

奶油小生 nǎiyóu xiǎoshēng (nigh yo shaow shung)

An effeminate young man. Can be slightly derogatory, just like the word “girly.” Literally “buttery young man” or “butter-boy.”

夫妻相 fūqī xiàng (foo chee shyung)

Literally “husband-and-wife appearance.” We often say that a husband and wife start to look like each other as time goes by. Somewhat along the same lines, many Chinese believe that a man and woman who share certain similar facial features will have a longer-lasting marriage, and thus match-makers might consider their fūqī xiàng in debating their suitability for marriage.

王八看绿豆, 看对眼了 wángbā kàn lǜdòu, kàn duì yǎn le (wahng bah kahn lee dough, kahn dway yen luh)

A joking expression that means two ugly people will find each other attractive. Literally “a tortoise will gaze at two mung beans” (because the eyes of a tortoise look like two mung beans).

情侣衫 qínglǚ shān (cheeng lee shahn) or 情侣装 qínglǚ zhuāng (cheeng lee jwong)

Matching couple outfits. Literally “lovers’ shirts” or “couples’ outfits.” Also 对衫 duì shān (dway shahn), literally “matching shirts.” There is an inexplicable trend in China (and also South Korea) of couples wearing matching shirts. One (of many) of these T-shirt sets has an arrow pointing toward the girl, and the words, “Falling in love, she is my girlfriend.” The girl of course wears a shirt with an arrow pointing to the man, which says, “Falling in love, he is my boyfriend.” Moreover, these couples somehow manage to stay on the correct side of each other, always, while walking, sitting, shopping, and eating, so that the arrows are always pointing at each other.

闪约 shǎnyuē (shan yreh)

Speed-dating. Literally “flash appointment.”

Marriage

闪婚 shǎnhūn (shahn hwen)

Literally “flash marriage,” describing couples who meet, fall in love, and get married very quickly.

两地分居 liǎng dì fēn jū (lyahng dee fen gee)

Long-distance marriage. Literally “in two different places” or “in two different cities.” Such marriages have long been common in China due to a strict residence permit system that results in many people finding work in cities far from their spouse, though nowadays this situation is improving.

金龟婿 jīnguī xù (jean gway she)

A rich husband. Literally “golden turtle husband.” A golden turtle was a status symbol denoting high rank for officials in the Tang dynasty (618-907).

半糖夫妻 bàntáng fūqī (bahn tahng foo chee)

Literally “half-sweet couple.” Couples who live apart during the work week and only spend weekends together, to keep the romance alive in their marriage. An increasingly common phenomenon among upper-middle-class professionals.

走婚族 zǒuhūn zú (dzoe hwen dzoo-the first syllable rhymes with Joe but with the beginning sound like a d and z slurred together)

Literally “walking marriage.” Used to describe young Chinese couples in big cities who stay with their respective parents during the work week and live together only during the weekend.

急婚族 jíhūn zú (gee hwen dzoo)

Literally “hasty marriage group.” A new term that describes people who marry hastily and not for love, especially young women who marry a wealthy man soon after graduating from college so they don’t have to work.

形式结婚 xíngshì jiéhūn (sheeng shih jyih hwen)

A marriage of convenience-for example, between a gay man and a lesbian.

二锅头 èrguōtóu (er gwuh toe)

Literally “second-pot head” and the name of a brand of twice-distilled Chinese liquor. Also slang for a woman who remarries.

Love’s downsides

抬杠 táigàng (tie gahng)

Beijing slang for arguing for the sake of argument or for no reason. Also means being unreasonable in an argument, or deliberately picking a (verbal) fight. Literally “lifting the pole,” as in someone who keeps lifting up one end of the scale just to be higher than the other.

堕入情网 duò rù qíng wǎng (dwuh roo cheeng wahng)

Lovesick. Literally “sink into love’s net.”

麦芽糖女人 màiyátáng nǚrén (migh yah tahng nee ren)

Literally “malt sugar women.” Refers to possessive women who demand that their boyfriends or husbands spend every second with them-cling to them like sticky malt sugar.

气管炎 qìguănyán (chee gwun yen)

Literally “lung infection.” Refers to a man who is so whipped that he never talks back to his girlfriend or wife, thus his friends might jokingly say he has a lung infection.

见光死 jiàn guāng sǐ (gin gwahng sih)

Literally “killed by exposure to light.” Refers to two people who fall for each other via the Internet or phone dates, but whose would-be romance is sadly killed by the cold, harsh light of reality once they actually meet.

离婚同居 líhūn tóngjū (lee hwen tohng gee)

Continuing to live together after a divorce, either because one or both sides can’t afford a new home or because they refuse to pay their ex for their half of the home they jointly owned before the divorce.

断背婚姻 duànbèi hūnyīn (dwun bay hwen een)

Literally “brokeback marriage,” after the Ang Lee movie Brokeback Mountain. Refers to a marriage in which one side is gay and/or has had a gay affair.

私房钱 sīfángqián (sih fahng chyinn)

Literally “private house money.” Refers to the secret stash of money that a wife puts aside in case her husband leaves her. Also refers to the money that a husband secretly puts outside of his wife’s reach because he’s whipped and is expected to give her all the money he earns.