Niubi! The Real Chinese You Were Never Taught in School

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One-night stand (pronounced in English). Used because “four one nine” sounds like “for one night,” and also because the Chinese pronunciation of those numbers, sìyāojiǔ (sih yow joe), sounds similar to 睡一宿 shuì yī xiǔ (shway ee show), which means “sleep one night.” Used in mainland China only.

套子 tàozi (taow dz) or 套套 tào tao (taow taow)

Cutesy ways of saying “condom.”

Male genitalia

阴茎 yīnjīng (een jing)

Penis.

阳具 yángjù (yahng gee)

Dick. Literally “sex tool.” Used a lot in erotic writing and pornographic novels but not in speech.

玉茎 yùjīng (yee jing)

Literally “jade stalk.” A poetic euphemism for “penis,” dating to ancient times. Not used in speech.

鸡巴 jība (gee bah)

Cock, dick. The most common slang word for a penis, and quite vulgar. Also used as an intensifier in the same way you’d use a swear word: for example, “that jība whore” is stronger than simply “that whore.”

鸡鸡 jī ji (gee gee) or 小鸡鸡 xiǎo jī ji (shaow gee gee)

A cutesy term for “penis,” used by little kids or jokingly between lovers. Literally “chick” and “little chick,” respectively. Often written “JJ” online.

老二 lăo’èr (laow er-rhymes with “cow ” and “her”)

Dick. Literally “second brother” or “little brother.”

小弟弟 xiăo dì di (shyow dee dee-xiăo rhymes with “cow ”)

A kiddie term for “penis,” much like “peenie” or “wee-wee.” Literally “little brother.”

屌 diăo (dyow), sometimes written 吊 diào (dyow)

Dick, cock. Used more as an insult than to actually refer to a penis.

鸟 niăo (nyow, rhymes with “cow ”)

Dick, cock. Literally “bird.” Less common than diăo (above).

命根子 mìng gēnzi (ming gehn dz-that’s a hard g in gēn, like the g in “get”)

Euphemism for “penis,” literally meaning “root of life,” “lifeblood,” or “one’s own life.” An extremely formal and/or literary term, but sometimes used jokingly in colloquial speech.

割包皮 gēbāopí (guh baow pee)

Circumcised, circumcision (which is rare in China). “Are you circumcised?” is 你割包皮没有? Nǐ gēbāopí méiyǒu? (nee guh baow pee may yo).

鸡巴毛 jībamáo (gee bah maow)

Literally “dick hair.” A crude term for male pubic hair. Used more as an insult than to actually refer to pubic hair, for which the neutral term is 阴毛 yīnmáo (een mao-máo rhymes with “cow.”)

yú shu zh hun

龟头 guītóu (gway toe)

Scientific term for the glans, or head of the penis. Literally “tortoise head.”

包皮 bāopí (baow pee-bāo rhymes with “cow”)

Foreskin. Literally “wrapper” or “wrap skin.”

睾丸 gāowán (gaow wahn-gāo rhymes with “cow” and wán sounds like the “won” in “wonton soup”)

Formal term for testicles.

蛋 dàn (dahn) or 蛋蛋 dàn dàn (dahn dahn)

Balls. Literally “eggs.”

得儿 de’r (durr)

Beijing slang for “balls.” This term is so colloquial that most Beijingers don’t know how to write it, so don’t be too concerned with the characters for this one.

勃起 bóqǐ (bwuh chee)

Have an erection, erection.

直 zhí (jih)

Hard. Literally “straight” or “vertical” or “upright.”

硬 yìng (eeng) or 硬了 yìng le (eeng luh)

Hard, get hard.

铁硬 tiě yìng (tyih eeng)

Rock hard (referring to an erection). Literally “iron hard.”

Female genitalia

阴道 yīndào (een dow)

Vagina. Literally “female path.”

阴户 yīnhù (een who)

Poetic/literary term for the vagina. Literally “female door.”

下身 xiàshēn (shah shen) or 下体 xiàtǐ (shah tee)

Euphemism for the female private parts. Literally “lower body.”

小妹妹 xiǎo mèimei (shyaow may may)

Most common slang term for “vagina.” Literally “little sister.”

屄 bī (bee)

Cunt, pussy (extremely dirty). Often written 逼 instead, which means “compel” or “close” but is pronounced the same (and looks less dirty).

屄毛 bīmáo (bee maow)

A dirty term for female pubic hair.

白虎 báihǔ (by who)

Shaved pussy. Literally “white tiger.” In ancient times báihǔ meant a woman with no pubic hair, shunned by matchmak ers because it was believed that such a woman would bring misfortune or even death to her husband. The male equivalent is 青龙 qīnglong (cheen lohng), literally “green dragon,” meaning a man without pubic hair, also superstitiously believed to bring trouble or death to his wife.

阴蒂 yīndì (een dee)

Clitoris.

湿 shī (shih)

Wet.

出水 chū shuǐ (choo shway)

Release vaginal secretions, get wet. Literally “discharge water.”

淫水 yínshuǐ (een shway)

Cunt juice. Literally “lewd juice.”

屄水 bīshuĭ (bee shway)

Cunt juice. Literally “pussy water.”

Buttocks

屁股 pìgǔ (pee goo)

Butt.

腚 dìng (ding)

Butt.

股沟 gŭgōu (goo go)

Butt crack.

肛门 gāngmén (gahng men)

Anus.

屁眼 pìyǎn (pee yen)

Asshole (as in the slang term for “anus” but, unlike the English, is not used as an insult). Literally “butt eye.”

菊花门 júhuāmén (gee hwa men) or just 菊花 júhuā (gee hwa)

Anus. Literally “chrysanthemum door” or just “chrysanthemum,” because the anus resembles a chrysanthemum flower. Used a lot in erotic writing and pornographic novels, which tend to use poetic euphemisms for sex and body parts, but not used in speech.

肛交 gāngjiāo (gahng jow)

Anal sex.

鸡奸 jījiān (gee gin)

Ass fucking. 鸡 jī (gee) means “chicken” and 奸 jiān (gin) is a derogatory word for sex, though it’s not obscene like “fucking.”

走后门 zǒuhòumén (dzoe hoe men)

Go the back way-a euphemism for having anal sex. Has a slightly humorous edge because this is also an extremely common term in everyday speech that means “pulling strings,” or using one’s connections or other unofficial channels to get something done.

Orgasm

高潮 gāocháo (gaow chow)

Orgasm (noun).

来 lái (lie)

Come (both noun and verb). The colloquial term for an orgasm in northern China.

去 qù (chee)

The colloquial term for an orgasm (both noun and verb) in southern China and Taiwan, which interestingly is the exact opposite of the northern term, as it literally means “go.”