Niubi! The Real Chinese You Were Never Taught in School

Insults and mockery

BS

Usually means the English “bullshit” but may also stand for 鄙视 bǐshì (bee shih), which literally means “despise.”

JP

Stands for 极品 jípǐn (gee peen), literally “extreme conduct.” Basically means “weirdo” or, rather, an eccentric or anyone who behaves unconventionally.

LB

Stands for 篱笆 líbā (lee bah), the name of an online forum (Liba) known for being popular among materialistic girls. Vapid, shallow girls, then, are often dismissively described as

LB.

BC

Stands for 白痴 báichī (buy chih), or “idiot.”

SL

Stands for 色狼 sèláng (suh lahng), or “pervert.”

永久性脑残 yǒngjǐu xìng nǎocán (yohng joe sheeng now tsahn)

Literally means something like “permanent brain damage” and used to comment on someone or something you find weird or crazy.

小白 xiǎobái (shaow buy)

Layman, novice, someone with little knowledge about something (such as computers). Literally “little white.” Refers to 白痴 báichī (buy chih), which means “idiot.”

菜鸟 caìniǎo (tsie nyow-caì rhymes with “pie”)

Newbie. Literally “food bird.” Pigeons raised for food are of a lower class than homing pigeons, and thus the phrase is used to describe junior-level people in various fields.

国猪 guózhū (gwuh joo)

Literally “country’s pigs” or “national pigs.” An insulting pun on 国足 guózú (gwuh dzoo) (zhū and zú sound similar), which is the term for China ’s national soccer team-a target of much abuse among soccer fans due to its poor performance and frequently scandalous or embarrassing behavior. Speaking of which…

我是洗澡来的 wǒ shì xǐzǎo laí dè (wuh shih she dzow lie duh)

Literally, “I just came here to take a shower.” Refers to a 2008 scandal when members of the Chinese national soccer team got caught checking into a hotel with a bunch of women who may or may not have been hookers. One of them protested by saying, “I just came here to take a shower.” Now the phrase is often used as a euphemism for any feeble excuse.

恐龙 kǒnglóng (kohng lohng-like “Kong” and “long” but pronounced with a long o, or oh, sound)

Online slang for an ugly girl. Literally “dinosaur.”

青蛙 qīngwā (ching wah)

Online slang for an ugly guy. The counterpart to “dinosaur” (above). Literally means “frog.”

拍砖 paīzhuān (pie jwahn)

Literally means “smack with a brick.” Used online when strongly criticizing someone or something. For example, you might say 请拍砖 qǐng pāizhuān (ching pie jwahn), literally “please smack with a brick,” to mean “prove it”; or 我拍砖 wǒ pāizhuān (wuh pie jwahn), literally “I smack with a brick,” to mean “here’s what I think.”

Dirty/lewd/slangy

牛 niú (nyoo)

Literally means “cow” and used to call someone or something “awesome.” Short for niúbī (see chapter 1), which means “fuckin’ awesome.”

NB

Stands for 牛屄 niúbī (nyoo bee), which can negatively mean something like “cocky bastard” or positively refer to a daring, impressive person or thing-someone or something that is “fuckin’ badass” (see chapter 1). Is also frequently written using the character 牛 plus any other Chinese character pronounced bee, such as 逼 bī, “to force,” or 比 bǐ, an indication of comparison. The real character 屄 bī (bee) cannot be typed on most computers and thus is almost never used.

装 B

Stands for 装屄 zhuāngbī (jwahng bee), which means “fucking poser” or “fake motherfucker.” 装 Zhuāng (jwahng) means “pretend” and bī indicates niúbī (see previous entry and chapter 1), meaning “fucking badass.” Thus the term implies that you are pretending to be badass. Some online users write “IB” or “install B” instead because zhuāng can also mean “install.”

SB or 傻 B

Stands for 傻屄 shǎbī (shah bee), which means something like “stupid cunt” or “motherfucker.” Literally “idiot’s pussy.” Also frequently written 傻逼 shǎbī or 傻比 shǎbǐ; that is, substituting a similar-sounding character for 屄.

TMD

Stands for 他妈的 tāmāde (ta ma duh), literally “his mother’s,” implying “fuck his mother’s pussy.” A moderately strong curse word. Sometimes shortened to MD, for 妈的 māde (ma duh), literally “mother’s.”

Some of these abbreviations can be combined, for example, TMDSB stands for 他妈的傻 B tāmāde shǎbī (ta ma duh shah bee), which is equivalent to saying something like “fucking stupid” or “stupid-ass shit” or “goddamn stupid cunt.”

NND or TNND

Stands for 奶奶的 naǐnaǐ de (nigh nigh duh) or 他奶奶的 tā naǐnaǐ de (ta nigh nigh duh). Literally “grandmother’s” or “his grandmother’s” and implies the larger phrase “fuck your grandmother.” However, this fragment alone means something slightly less profane, closer to “shit” or “damn.”

QQXX

Stands for 我圈圈你个叉叉 wǒ quān quān nǐ gè chā chā (wuh chren chren nee guh cha cha), a euphemistic way of saying “fuck you.” 圈 Quān (chren), literally “circle,” refers to a penis here, while 叉 chā (cha), literally “cross,” refers to pussy. Literally, it means “I circle your cross.”

G8 or JB

Means “dick” or “cock.” In the first case, because G and the number eight in Chinese, bā (bah), it sounds like 鸡巴 jība (gee bah), which is a slang term for “dick.” The second is just an abbreviation based on the first letters of the pinyin syllables in jība.

JJ

Stands for 鸡鸡 jījī (gee gee), a kiddie term for “penis,” like “wee-wee.” Can also stand for 姐姐 jiějie (jyih jyih), which means “older sister” and refers to any female who is older than the person addressing her, though generally still a young woman.

SY

Stands for 手淫 shǒuyín (show een), which means “jerk off” (verb).

GC

Stands for 高潮 gāocháo (gaow chow), which means “orgasm,” “climax,” “come.”

JY

Stands for 精液 jīngyè (jing yeh), which means “semen,” “sperm,” or “ejaculate.”

YY

Stands for 意淫 yìyín (ee een) and means something like “to have pervy thoughts” or “think dirty” but can also have a less negative connotation that just indicates thinking or behaving unconventionally or creatively.

YD

Short for 淫荡 yíndàng (een dahng), meaning “lascivious” or “lewd.”