Soul Mountain (chinese)
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"Soul Mountain is one of those singular literary creations that seem impossible to compare with anything but themselves… In the writing of Gao Xingjian literature is born anew from the struggle of the individual to survive the history of the masses."
– from the citation of the Nobel Prize committee of the Swedish Academy
When this year's Nobel Prize for Literature was awarded to Chinese expatriate novelist and playwright Gao Xingjian, few in the English-speaking West were familiar with his work. Gao's masterpiece, SOUL MOUNTAIN (PerfectBound, an e-book from HarperCollins; February 20, 2001; $19.95), is a dazzling kaleidoscope of fiction, philosophy, history and fable. Elegantly translated by Australian sinologist Mabel Lee, this richly textured autobiographical novel recounts a dual journey-a literal journey into the heart of China and a spiritual journey of the self.
When Gao was 43, he was incorrectly diagnosed with lung cancer. Resigned to death by the same means that had claimed his father just a few years before, Gao spent six weeks indulging his appetites and reading philosophy. The spot on Gao's lung mysteriously disappeared, but a new threat arose when rumors began to circulate that he was to be sent to a prison farm because of his controversial writings. No longer facing imminent death, the writer quickly left Beijing and disappeared into the remote forest regions of Sichuan, then spent five months wandering along the Yangtze River from its source down to the coast. Gao's 15,000 kilometer sojourn forms the geographic parameters of the fictional journey in SOUL MOUNTAIN.
While on a train at the start of his trip, the writer protagonist meets another traveler who says he is going to Lingshan, "soul mountain," which can be found by the remote source of the You River. The writer has never heard of such a place, and he resolves to go there, but his fellow traveler can give him none but the vaguest directions. Thus begins a metaphoric odyssey into the hinterlands of China and the outlying Qiang, Miao and Yi districts that dangle on the fringes of Han Chinese civilization.
The writer is in search of the traditions that are hidden in rural China, and as he travels he encounters a parade of unforgettable characters who embody both vestiges of the past-Daoist masters, Buddhist monks, ancient calligraphers-and the modern culture that has surfaced since the revolution: small town communist cadres, budding entrepreneurs, independent young girls grappling with parochial repression. The two worlds exist uneasily as one, with stories and customs from centuries past colliding with a world of televisions, automobiles, and technology. All is permeated by the dark legacy of the Cultural Revolution, the encroachment of ecological damage, and the harsh monetary realities of everyday life in contemporary China.
SOUL MOUNTAIN is a dazzling work of the imagination, where classic fables merge with tales of modern cruelty and ancient philosophy does battle with existentialism. But Gao goes deeper still as he explores notions of the devastation of the self at the hands of social expectations. He continually shifts his narrative voice as the "I" of the writer becomes the "you" of an imagined companion, then the "she" of a woman companion. Yet all reflects back on the protagonist, who craves these two seemingly contradictory ends-the solitude necessary for nurturing the self and the anxiety-provoking warmth of human society.
Gao began this novel in the mid-eighties, then carried the manuscript with him when he fled China in 1987. Now living in Paris, he completed the book there in 1989. His writings continue to be banned in his native country. As Gao's work at last gains the public's attention here in the West, SOUL MOUNTAIN provides a dazzling introduction to the achievement of one of contemporary literature's acknowledged masters.
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二十六
我不知道你是不是观察过自我这古怪的东西,往往越看越不像,越看越不是,就好比你躺在草地上凝视天上一片云彩,先看像一头骆驼,继而像一个女人,再看又成为长着长胡须的老者,这还不确切,因为云彩在瞬息变化。
就说上厕所吧,在一幢老房子里,望着印着水迹的墙壁,你每天上厕所,那陈年的水印子都会有所变化,先看是人脸,再看是一头死狗,拖着肚肠子,后来,又变成一棵树,树下有个女孩,骑着一匹瘦马。过了十天半个月,也许是几个月过去了,有一天早晨,你便秘,突然发现,那水迹子竟还是一张人脸。
你躺在床上,望着天花板,由于灯光的投影,那洁白的天花板也会生出许多变化,你只要凝神注视自己,你就会发现你这个自我逐渐脱离你熟识的样子,繁衍滋生出许多令你都诧异的面貌。所以,要我概要表述一下我自己,我只能惶恐不已。我不知道那众多的面貌哪一个更代表我自己,而且越是审视,变化就越加显著,最后就只剩下诧异。
你也可以等待,等待那墙上的水迹子重又还原为一张人脸,你也可以期待,期待它有一天生出某种样子来。但我的经验是,它长着长着,往往并不按照你的愿望去变,而且多半相反,成为个怪胎,让你无法接受,而它毕竟又还从那个自我脱胎出来,还不能不接受。
我有一次注意到我扔在桌上的公共汽车月票上贴的照片,起先觉得是在做个讨人欢喜的微笑,继而觉得那眼角的笑容不如说是一种嘲弄,有点得意,有点冷漠,都出于自恋,自我欣赏,自以为高人一等。其实有一种愁苦,隐隐透出十分的孤独,还有种闪烁不定的恐惧,并非是优胜者,而有一种苦涩,当然就不可能有出自无心的幸福的那种通常的微笑,而是怀疑这种幸福,这就变得有点可怕,甚至空虚,那么一种掉下去没有着落的感觉,我也就不愿意再看这张照片了。
我然后去观察别人,在我观察别人的时候,我发现那无所不在的讨厌的自我也渗透进去,不容有一付面貌不受到干涉,这实在是非常糟糕的事,当我注视别人的时候,也还在注视我自己。我找寻喜欢的相貌,或是我能接受的表情,那打动木了我,我找不到认同的众人从我面前过去,我就视而不见,不管在何处,在候车室,火车车厢里或轮船的甲板上,饭铺和公园里,乃至于我在街上散步,也总是捕捉近似于我熟悉的面貌和身影,或是去找寻某种暗示,能勾引起潜在的记忆。我观察别人的时候,也总把他人作为我内视自己的镜子,这种观察都取决于我当时的心境。哪怕看一个姑娘,也是用我的感官来揣摩,用我的经验加以想象,然后才作出判断,我对于他人的了解其实又肤浅又武断,也包括对于女人。我眼中的女人无非是我自己制造的幻象,再用以迷惑我自己,这就是我的悲哀。因此,我同女人的关系最终总失败。反之,这个我如果是女人,同男人相处,也同样烦恼。问题就出在内心里这个自我的醒觉,这个折磨得我木安宁的怪物。人自恋,自残,矜持,傲慢,得意和忧愁,嫉妒和憎恨都来源于他,自我其实是人类不幸的根源。那么,这种不幸的解决又是否得扼杀这个醒觉了的他?于是,佛告须菩提:万相皆虚妄,无相也虚妄。