The Schopenhauer Cure

father had brought more sorrow than serenity. He started to phone Marty, one of his

colleagues in his support group, but felt too despondent, hung up the phone, and instead

turned on his computer to enter the notes scribbled on the crumpled Starbucks paper bag.

«You have e–mail,” greeted him, and, to his surprise, there was a message from Philip. He

read it eagerly:

At the end of our discussion today you asked about Schopenhauer and how I was

helped by his philosophy. You also indicated that you might want to learn more about

him. It occurs to me that you might be interested in my lecture at Coastal College

next Monday evening at 7P.M. (Toyon Hall, 340 Fulton St.). I am teaching a survey

course on European philosophy, and on Monday I will give a brief overview of

Schopenhauer (I must cover two thousand years in twelve weeks). Perhaps we can

chat a bit after the lecture. Philip Slate

Without hesitation Julius e–mailed Philip:Thanks. I`ll be there. He opened his

appointment book to the following Monday and penciled in «Toyon Hall, 340 Fulton

7P.M. ”

On Mondays Julius led a therapy group from four–thirty till six. Earlier in the day he had

pondered whether to tell the group about his diagnosis. Though he had decided to

postpone telling his individual patients until he regained his equilibrium, the group posed

a different problem: group members often focused upon him, and the chances of someone

spotting some change in his mood and commenting upon it were much greater.

But his concerns were unfounded. The members had readily accepted his excuse of

the flu for having canceled the two previous meetings and then moved on to catch up on

the last two weeks of each other`s lives. Stuart, a short, pudgy pediatrician who

perpetually seemed distracted, as though he were in a rush to get to his next patient,

seemed pressured and asked for time from the group. This was a most unusual

occurrence; in Stuart`s year in the group he had rarely asked for help. He had originally

entered the group under duress: his wife informed him by e–mail that unless he entered

therapy and made some significant changes she was going to leave him. She added that

she had conveyed this via e–mail because he paid more attention to electronic

communication than anything said to him directly. During the past week his wife had

upped the ante by moving out of their bedroom, and much of the meeting was spent on

helping Stuart explore his feelings about her withdrawal.

Julius loved this group. Often the courage of the members took his breath away as

they regularly broke new ground and took great risks. Today`s meeting was no exception.

Everyone supported Stuart for his willingness to show his vulnerability, and the time

whizzed by. By the end of the meeting Julius felt much better. So caught up was he by

the drama of the meeting that for an hour and a half he forgot his own despair. That was

not unusual. All group therapists know about the wonderfully healing qualities inherent

in the atmosphere of the working group. Time and again Julius had entered a meeting

disquieted and left considerably better even though he had not, of course, explicitly

addressed any of his personal issues.

He had barely time for a quick dinner at We Be Sushi a short distance from his

office. He was a regular there and was greeted loudly by Mark, the sushi chef, as he took

his seat. When alone, he always preferred sitting at the counter—like all of his patients,

he was uncomfortable eating by himself at a restaurant table.

Julius ordered his usual: California rolls, broiled eel, and a variety of vegetarian

maki. He loved sushi but carefully avoided raw fish because of his fear of parasites. That

whole battle against outside marauders—now, what a joke it seemed! How ironic that, in

the end, it would be an inside job. To hell with it; Julius threw caution to the wind and

ordered some ahi sushi from the astonished chef. He ate with great relish before rushing

out to Toyon Hall and to his first meeting with Arthur Schopenhauer.

6

Mom and Pop

Schopenhauer

—

Zu Hause

_________________________

Thesolid foundations of our

view of the world and thus its

depth or shallowness are

formed in the years of

childhood. Such a view is

subsequently elaborated and

perfected, yet essentially it

is not altered.

_________________________

What kind of a man was Heinrich Schopenhauer? Tough, dour, repressed, unyielding,

proud. The story is told that in 1783, five years before Arthur`s birth, Danzig was

blockaded by the Prussians and food and fodder were scarce. The Schopenhauer family

was forced to accept the billeting of an enemy general at their country estate. As a

reward, the Prussian officer offered to grant Heinrich the privilege of forage for his

horses. Heinrich`s reply? «My stable is well stocked, sir, and when the food supply runs

out I will have my horses put down.»

And Arthur`s mother, Johanna? Romantic, lovely, imaginative, vivacious,

flirtatious. Though all of Danzig in 1787 considered the union of Heinrich and Johanna a

brilliant event, it proved to be a tragic mismatch. The Troiseners, Johanna`s family, came

from a modest background and had long regarded the lofty Schopenhauers with awe.

Hence, when Heinrich, at the age of thirty–eight, came to court the seventeen–year–old

Johanna, the Troiseners were jubilant and Johanna acquiesced to her parents` choice.

Did Johanna regard her marriage as a mistake? Read her words written years later

as she warned other young women facing a matrimonial decision: «Splendor, rank, and

title exercise an all too seductive power over a young girl`s heart luring women into tying

a marriage knot...a false step for which they must suffer the hardest punishment the rest

of their lives.»

«Suffer the hardest punishment the rest of their lives»—strong words from Arthur`s

mother. In her journals she confided that before Heinrich courted her she had had a young

love, which fate took from her, and it was in a state of resignation that she had accepted

Heinrich Schopenhauer`s marriage proposal. Did she have a choice? Most likely not. This

typical eighteenth–century marriage of convenience was arranged by her family for

reasons of property and status. Was there love? There was no question of love between

Heinrich and Johanna Schopenhauer. Never. Later, in her memoirs, she wrote, «I no more

pretended ardent love than he demanded it.» Nor was there abundant love for others in

their household—not for the young Arthur Schopenhauer, nor for his younger sister,

Adele, born nine years later.

Love between parents begets love for the children. Occasionally, one hears tales of

parents whose great love for each other consumes all the love available in the household,

leaving only love–cinders for the children. But this zero–sum economic model of love

makes little sense. The opposite seems true: the more one loves, the more that one

responds to children, to everyone, in a loving manner.

Arthur`s love–bereft childhood had serious implications for his future. Children

deprived of a maternal love bond fail to develop the basic trust necessary to love

themselves, to believe that others will love them, or to love being alive. In adulthood they

become estranged, withdraw into themselves, and often live in an adversarial relationship

with others. Such was the psychological landscape that would ultimately inform Arthur`s